AHHH it has been so long since I have posted! BUT for good reason, very, very good reason! I had guest in town this past weekend and I have been studying my face off for an upcoming exam! I wanted to post every night about my weekend and thought about it at the end of the night in a drunken state of mind but quickly realized I was not in the right state of mind to be on my blog.
Needless to say, I made memories this past weekend with my best friend and countless other people that I will never forget. I used to go out OFTEN when I lived in Ohio, so much so that it became a routine for me. People downtown expected to see me out and they expected me to be drunk, it became my identity. One that I was not very proud of. I don’t do that here in Florida, and it is not a name I have made for myself. Maturing is so fun! So having someone I love and care about to turn up and join me in my new home was exciting!
Over the weekend, I had a few encounters and a few random thoughts that I wanted to express but somehow couldn’t find the words in the moment to say them. I knew though that my blog would be the best place to share them. So I will start tonight, with one of those thoughts.
One of these thoughts was how much I never realized how we as women see ourselves. We want to have the best curves and the all the desired attributes that we see on social media and in the gym but we never take time to appreciate where we are and how far we have come. Our bodies take a beating everyday, we are constantly walking, sitting, standing, going into the sun, doing anything and everything but rarely do we tell ourselves,” Hey today you deserve a massage”, or “you know what today its okay to lay around and just do nothing.” We also don’t appreciate ourselves when we are not at our best and that can take away from our happiness in the moment.
Sometimes, we find ourselves not being in the best shape we have ever been in or not hitting the gym as hard as we used to and then we start to discredit our current efforts or our current situation. Such a negative way of looking at things, and if we do try to give ourselves credit, I find sometimes we are comparing ourselves to this “other” person, “well at least I don’t look like this or like that.” And, lets be honest thats not fair either. Why can’t we just be okay with who we are and where we are.
I know all weekend as I was trying to put my body into tight dresses and crop tops I kept talking about my stomach. I have never been happy with my belly and always find a way to bring myself down. I started to think today of ways I could crawl out of this hole of self-misery and really be happy with myself. Lets be honest, if I don’t love my stomach and its current situation how can I be okay with someone else telling me I look fine. People can tell us all day we look okay or that we are fine, but if we don’t believe it then we will forever bring ourselves down.
Its okay if we look more bloated one day than we did the other day, or our thighs are a little thicker than they used to be, or even a little smaller than last year. I had to take time today to write down what I have been through in the past year to appreciate myself in the now. After taking a look at it, I moved to a new state, made new friends, continued grad school, continue to work a pretty rough schedule, try to make time to study, try to have a social life, try to write in a blog as often as possible, I try to read before bed, I try to go to the gym as often as possible and many other things. Thats a lot of things, and a few have already been crossed off my list. I graduated, my schedule will change after I pass my exam so I won’t have to study anymore either and my gym routine will go back to a normal flow. LOOK AT ALL OF THOSE THINGS THAT WILL COME TOGHER!
The relief of knowing that all of my handwork, dedication and effort will soon pay off is beyond amazing.
Where we are right now is only temporary if we put ourselves in a position to create a change. Change does not happen over night, and it takes time and effort to get where we want to be, but when we get there we can look back and say man I made it! I went through all of that to get where I am now. Life is about adapting, overcoming and being okay with these fluctuations. Its hard to adapt and overcome though when we are constantly bringing ourselves down. The world already does that to us enough, lets not add ourselves to the list of people who can bring us down.
Could you imagine if we obsessed abut the things we loved about ourselves.