You say, Valentines Day. I say,Taco Tuesday. Whichever you prefer, but today I wanna address Valentines Day.
What a washed up over-rated holiday. And NO this is not coming from some single bitter female that didn’t get chocolate on Valentines Day. This is coming from the female that was sick on Valentines Day that got out of bed and went to work and came home to take care of her self and bought her own self a cupcake just because I wanted something sweet.
I had never celebrated Valentines Day until I dated a guy immediately after high school. That was the longest relationship I have ever been in my life and it was the last time I have been in a serious relationship and celebrated this holiday. My first Valentines Day with him was ever so, not so, special. What do I mean by that? Well, let me explain.
This young guy WENT ALL OUT! I was showered in gifts, and chocolate and the whole 9 yards, the sappy love card with the love me nots and a fancy dinner at the end of the night. I was in love! What did a girl like myself do to deserve such things. I was in college, so I was BROKE ! I could not fathom how much money he spent on me, but he had a full time job and he could afford these nice gestures. So I had thought.
It wasn’t until the next day, when I was trying on these new bras and panties that I received and one of them didn’t fit just right. I asked for a ride to the mall to exchange it by the same man that gave it to me and he said well we could always return it, I got you like 4 of them and I didn’t get anything from you. The look on my face. I instantly felt bad for not getting him anything other than a card with a sweet note inside of it. I took a few minutes to really wrap my head around what was just asked of me. I had never asked him to purchase these sweet things for me, I thought he had done it because Valentines Day was something I had never experienced and he wanted to make it special for me.
After our conversation, where he informed me that dinner was too expensive and he was expecting something in return, I wrapped up all the nice gifts and returned them all. I informed him that the gifts were sweet but I didn’t need them. He gladly took me to the mall to return every single gift. The total of all the nice things he got me was 150 bucks! Its the thought that counts, right?
As the years passed and 5 Valentines Days passed with this same person, every year he talked of how he wanted to do these nice things for me, but it always came back to how much I would get for him in return. Whether he was kidding or not, it still was uncomfortable that someone that said they loved me expected me to gift something just because Hallmark said so.
In my eyes, I showed this man I loved him everyday. I could go on and on of all the things I purchased and did for him though the days of the year that showed I loved him, and I never asked a thing from nor did I ask for anything on Valentines Day. Walking away from a 5 year relationship I had nothing of material value that he had gifted to me, it was all just love and memories and thats all I needed.
The point I am trying to make is that love should never be materialistic. It should never be something we recognize on just one day. The embrace of someone who cares about us should be shown daily a million times over. Im that girl, that if were talking, dating seeing each other or however you want to say it, I will show you that day in and day out regardless of what you do for me. I never want someone I love or care about to feel like I don’t care about them. I will never need a holiday to buy my man a cupcake or something to eat. If your hungry and you need food I’m gonna feed you. If you need a hand because you just can’t get up on your own, then mine will be right there.
A relationship is not about what someone can give you materialistically and on one day, but what you can offer to that person intrinsically, everyday. So if you are single today, take time to love yourself and create a being so beautiful you won’t need one day to feel special because you will always feel this way. And, if you’re in a relationship, don’t use this one day to show your love to your love. Use everyday. Every minute. Every second. Love so unconditionally that Valentines Day becomes just another day to wait for discounted chocolate to go one sale.
Love the way you want to be loved, everyday, regardless of the day.