Kindness. It should start with you.

Kindness. This word to me means the unconditional giving of joy, happiness and love. Kindness can take us a long way, and I truly believe elevate us to a higher level. Im not sure when people stopped practicing kindness in their every day lives, or maybe they never practiced it, ever?

I, as a cancer, a lover and a fighter for all things equality, carry the worlds burdens on my back. I cannot help but to grieve when people lose loved ones, when others are bullied or hatred is ringing in the air. I carry these burdens not because I always understand what is happening; in most cases I do, but not always the case. I carry these burdens because somewhere down the line the general idea of kindness has been lost. Someone was not taught to love their neighbors unconditionally.

The other day, someone on my time line posted a story about ladies who decided not to shave their body hair. The comments from this person’s friends were heartbreaking. Calling these women *hippies*, and claiming they didn’t wear deodorant.Calling them nasty and disgusting. I know these small things should not make a huge difference but if you’re not mindful about the way you approach things you are indirectly degrading a small group of people. Calling people a group of hippies out of disgust, what does that say about your general idea of hippies? That they are dirty, unworthy of nice comments? I mean, I could go on about how I feel about this but when I said my peace on the topic, someone on the post made the comment

“I shouldn’t have to filter what I say, to make others feel good. If they take offense to it thats their problem”

I would like to say, great motto but I simply cannot agree with that. As humans we face so many other issues in our daily lives. I for one cannot speak to how many times someone else has been bullied, or how many times someone else has been called out of their names. I cannot feel another persons feelings, so therefore a blanket statement of, “if they take offense thats their problem,” is an unkind, and not a very mindful statement. What if this person is bullied daily and that comment was the last thing they could take and your statement pushed them over a mental edge. People who are bullied committee suicide, everyday.

I am sure that statement has some people like woah, Thats extreme, Oascha! In reality, its not. If you are not mindful about the comments that come out of your mouth your words could cut like a knife through someones chest.

I will admit, I was never a mindful person with my words. I would say whatever, whenever and wherever I wanted. It wasn’t until I  was assaulted and around the time I did my Yoga teacher training that changed my life and my perspective on how to treat people. I dove into a true meaning of kindness. I found a way to make people feel good about every aspect of their life, even if I disagreed. I don’t have to agree or like or even enjoy the things that make other people happy, but it was their happiness where I started to find a different kind of self happiness. I genuinely became a better version of myself.

The ability to turn a negative comment into a positive one, isn’t catering to another human being. Its just being kind to another human being. There is already so much negativity in the world. Imagine if each person you encountered throughout the day had one small positive thing to say and you were able to reciprocate that back, how you would feel by the end of the day?

When I was in high school, one of my counselors always told me to have a PMA—Positive Mental Attitude.  This is the mentality to this day that I strive for and have been able to successfully use, and it wasn’t until a a couple of years ago that I was able to achieve this on a higher level.

Were not perfect though, so the expectation that everyday you’re going to be a basket of rainbows is unrealistic. But, you have to start somewhere, so start with yourself. Be kind to yourself, and then begin to project this kindness outwards. See if altering your words to just be kind to someone makes you feel better.

–You won’t have to worry about if you’ve offended someone, if you were kind to begin with. —

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