I am setteling in at home and rearranging everything just the way I love it! I am so happy with my new apt, the area and the life I am beginning to create for myself. Doors I never imagined would ever be there are opening, and things are falling into place. With that being said, I thought tonight would be a perfect night to go out on a date with myself.
I live a very short commute from downtown Delray Beach so I decided to check out the downtown scene and grab a beer and a burger. I had therapy today and one of the things we talked about was me combating my fears. One thing I had learned to do was shield myself from the outside world when I lived in Lauderdale. I couldn’t afford to go out, so I didn’t. It was easy and safe this way. My new life and this new me, I can afford an occasional beer and burger or other late night endeavors.
It wasn’t until I got out of my car that I realized what I was doing. I was going out, alone. Friday night. Alone. As much as I love being alone, its weird knowing you’re going to be amongst people your age and be alone while they are all with friends. I parked my car in the free parking spaces down the street from all the action, which was the scariest part for me. Walking alone, being alone. I walk alone often to get to and from grocery stores and other places, but I usually don’t go out by myself at night. Here I am writing in my blog and I am safe!
I went to a place called, Smoke… I think? Haha, you would think I would remember but I wasn’t all that impressed with the food. Maybe had I gotten something from the backside of the menu but I wanted a burger. It was just lettuce, cheese and some other veggies, the Mac&Cheese was alright. Nothing to write home about, but the service was great. My server seemed almost shocked when he saw I was alone. He even came back up to me after taking my order and said
“I don’t mean to come off rude, or offend you, but you are BEAUTIFUL!! Why are you here alone?”
No offense taken, Greg. Haha. I told him a little bit about myself and what I was trying to do. He opened up about an ex he dated who had went through the same thing and said how she was still struggling. I hope wherever she is out here, she finds self love, happiness and peace. I know what it is like to live prisoner to your own body, and thoughts after someone has taken a big piece of you. You are not alone.
Sitting in that booth that was meant for 4 people was empowering for me. I know many people who cannot do anything alone and I was one of them for the longest time. I am still a work in progress, because I was still self-conscious about what others thought for a little bit, and how I looked sitting there alone. It didn’t take long for that feeling to wear off. I did it. The beer to by the way was amazing. Extra hoppy just like I like it!
Although, this was not my first experience downtown Delray. I did have a great experience with someone new in my life. They really set the tone for how I should treat myself not only while out, but in general. Maybe, I will share more about that day, or maybe future days to come. Ya, never know!
Cheers && Goodnight.